Solutions ARE simple !  

An interesting anecdote Lateral Thinking....Just goes to show how simple solutions are often overlooked in life. This, as incredible as it may sound, is a true story. In the early days of the American space program,NASA received reports from the astronauts that their pens would not write in space. Ball points, fountain pens, even quills -- nothing worked! So NASA made funds available and asked the pen suppliers to develop a pen that would write in space. Eventually, thousands of dollars later, a suitable pen was developed, incorporating a small gas filled cylinder which propelled the ink out of the pen. It worked both in space and underwater. The problem was solved, albeit at great expense and time. Many years later, when co-operation with the Russians was established, it occurred to someone at NASA to ask how the Russians had solved this problem.

  There was no problem, they said, we used a pencil.

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer!   

•  If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!
      

• To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
       

• If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".
      

•  Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.        
      

• To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
   

•    To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
    

•   To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
  

•     If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
  

•     When you lose your car keys, click on "find".
   

•    "Help" with the chores is just a click away.
  

•     You wouldn't need auto insurance.  You'd use your diskette to recover from a crash.
     

•  We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.
  

•     To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".
   

•    Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.
   

•    To undo a mistake, click on "back".
   

•    Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "update".
  

•     If you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

Mohandes 3'abi !!  (Found on the net)

      Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was  led up to the guillotine.

        As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?" 
"Head up," said the doctor. "Blindfold or no blindfold?" 
 "No blindfold."  So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade-and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an  execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free. 

       Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?" said the executioner. "Head up." "Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade-and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. 
Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free. 

           Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?"  "Head up."  "Blindfold or no blindfold?"  "No blindfold." 
So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out: "WAIT! I see what the problem is!". 

Seeing el kolleya  for the first time

One day , I don't remember exactly when , I was visiting an old friend how is living in Abbasiah. we walk in the streets of abbasiah talking and eating "leb". He asked me if I want to see handazaet Ain shams ! It is near from here .I said : Ok let's go.
ana kont faker kolleyt el handasa 3ala 3ala el akal andaf men madrasetna , wa kan fe bali sorah tania. el mohem , he pointed to an old building :- That's handaset Ain Shams ......tab3an sara7't feeh :- Aeeh da?. mat7af el ta7reer hena fe el Abbasiah ? besara7ah kan manzarha men barrah mesh gameel. wa tab3an sa7by a3ad yedafe3 3anha because it is near his house , and he said :"It is the DREAM of all Egyption students " (!). note :- after years , I'm here in this kaboos !

3arfeen leah el tagdedat elly fe el kollyeh now ? wabdo , wa Allah a3alm an magles el kollaya khaf la7san wezaret el seyaha wal athar temna3 el derasah fe el kollayeh be3tebarha mazar sea7y.
tasoaro , saye7 agnaby we el morshed beshawer loh ala modarrag alef :- "this old bulding is called modarrag , wa kan kodma' el masreen bey7daro hena el wasfeeah , we kan el doctor beyshera7 lohom ezzay yebno el haram".El saye7 stoped him :"but ya 7'abibi , el haram lessa wakef , we el kollayea 7ato'a3 ! balash kedb ba'a."

     Abassia law :- (introduced by me ! I called it also :"Za7ma law")
Lim of velocity of a car (or a bus) as the car approaches to Abbasia = 0 !

Wa7ed sa7by was just starting to study Circuits , el noor eta'a3 ! (Thank Allah , he is not studing structure , kanet el 3emara falled !)

Wa7ed kharag men emte7an thermo sa3b , besa'al el doctor :- ya doctor ana substituted the degrees in C not in Kelven , but every thing is ok.El doctor said :- Zero ya baba !

After this exam ,kan el doctor walking so happy and he said :"de7ekt ala betoo3 kahraba !"

I was making a game by VB , I think I'll made it three levels : EASY level and NORMAL level and FERMI level !

We all know el moa'therat el sawteeayah (Sound effects) that is sometimes tazhar fe el mo7adarat , but the best one I heard is today.wa7ed recived about 15 message on his mobile wara ba3d !!

Wa ba3d nagaah el mosalsal el 3araby "lialy el helmia", I will write a new mosalsal 7aehezz el 3alam , I'll call it "lialy el 3abbasia !".mesh 3aref what it will talk about , bas I like the name.if you have an idea please tell us.What about changing the name to :"Abdo Basha Nights".
No , El abbasia heyya makar our lovely university. and heyya also makar the Hospital of el abbaasia for smart people (el maganeen tab3an) wa la ya7'fa alikom sabab haza el korb.

Falshes

- I heared two students talking in el modarrag about the best kesm in kahraba, the first one said it is comm. the second said : My father knows one who graduted from comm. and he works in a hotel in the switch !
- Final Exams will be in Ramadan => Are they exams or Fawazeer Ramdan ?
- study study ya fata ... examination kad ata !!
- Do You know what is my best song ? All my friends hate it.I don't know why? It is '7abetha' for hesham abbas ,But I say it :"7anshelhaaaa" (When we had a defficult lecture).
- OK. You also hate it ? What about Mohammed Fouad's KADDAB ? "We 7anes2t el sana de yaba,haaaay .Fe el physia we el reyadah yaba,haaaay."
- Some old Jokes about beto3 Computer :
wa7ed 7ab yesta7amah nezel ta7t el DOS.
wa7ed kan 7arran , fata7 el WINDOWS.
wa7ed soba3o et3awar, laza2 3aleh SOUND BLASTER !
- Tollab e3dady el mafrood yektebo el sana el derasyea 1999/2001 3alashan yeraya7o nafsohom.
- yesterday I was in faculty of medicine , visiting a friend (nafad men kollyetna).He told me that from 150 years there was no way to know if the patient have sokkar or not expet one way :Tasting his bool !
So their doctor told them :"I said everything I can say, if one of you in el shafawe ma3refsh answering me, I will return him 150 years !!!"
- 2 friends : one entered madany ashgal 3amah , the other entered kahraba ashgal shakah !!

Papers Papers 

When u walk in our Fofo (Faculty) you see papers everywhere on the walls, doors and on the ground !

WHAT'S IN THESE PAPERS ?

I think there are 2 kinds of papers : one is those which says "GIVE US MONEY" and the second says "lakad da3a mena el-MONEY" here we have some examples of  alive and Hot papers, some of them are now on the walls 

First Kind Examples : "3izeen felooos"

1."Ya tollab Ya 7emeer ya elly ma bet3rafoosh tezakro ta3alo neddekom magmo3at ! "

mal7oza : howwa e7na ben7dar el mo7adrat lamma hane7dar magmo3at !

2."Ya tollab Ya 3afareet come to see 3FROOTTOO . give us 45 or 50 LE"

mal7oza : tab3an fe a7'er saff fe el masra7 ! ( NOT FOR do3af el nazar )

3."Osret el a7lam el wardeah el sa3eeda tatasharraf be d3watekom le re7lateha almotwageha to TOSHKA to see the new line of Metro El anfaq : Khat TOSHKA-EL SALOOM ! (mororan be ABDO BASHA). Wa sayakoon ma3na Al-motreb al-sa3ed Amer Zebeb ! al ri7la + meal + pepsi or tea + boosah = 2 (to the power 9) pund masri "

4."Forsa 3zema : Carmen (Mohammad Sob7i And Semoon) 10,20,30 LE"

mal7ooza: i think carmen is a name of manadeel !

5."Try the new sandwich of Macdonalds be-nafs el se3r el (re7'ees !)"

mal7oza: Mafeesh sandwich MacPhysics or MacMath ?

6."Dawra : from outside el fofo =1000 LE , inside the fofo=200 bass ! shofto e7na 7elween ezzay? come to see us at Carcar (career ..), shahadat mo3tamadah men Microsoft wa yowaqea3 aleha Bill clinton sorry Bill Gates ! "

malhoza: Don't give us doploma. Give us A JOB !

Second Kind Examples : "Ra7et felosna fe el koko (koleya7)"

1."Foked kalam gaf azraq fe modarrag alef (el saff 4 on the right) youm el sabt el sa3a 10 AM. Any one find this old pen yakhdoh leh !!"

2."makalama 7amraa , man yagedha ye-wadeeha le 3mm fawzi"

mal7oza: wa 3mm fawzi ya 7'odha leh ? a7'odha ana a7san .

3."I found some MONEY !! ala saheboh an yal7ak nafsoh 2abl ma asrefoh"

4."wagadt qalam fe modarag alef fe el saff 4 on the right ..... ala sa7eb or sa7ebat el kalam al tawagoh le maktabi . Dr\Sha3noon!" ... ( we yegahez el karniih betaro) 

malhoza: ya 7omar take it leek !

And last thing i want to write before i go to my Books And Sheets is a word written on the bathroom (somewhere) says "Modarrag el doctor (....)" !!!!

Vemto Second !!

When I was in the first year electrical (kan haza sanat 1999 takreeban ) kan fee wahed esmoh Ahmad  Zewail, wa kan shater fe el laser wa a7'had gayzet nobel fe el kemyaa. Dr Ahmad was graduated from Alex university (not from our lovely one). When this great man faz be nobel , asba7 al 7am al akbar le kol el nas 7owa an yantasebo lehaza al 3alem. Wahed kan sa7boh , wahed kan garoh , wa7ed kan be7el lo7 el sheets.
Wa kad sarra7 doctor el mechanics beta3na fe zalek al wakt fe mohadra le group alef anho kan zemel Dr zewail fe alex. bas AmreKa "khatafet" dr zewail wa lam tantabe7 le mawaheb el doctor beta3na, le2naho wa bekol fakhr kan be7areb fe Sena. wa el donya arza2 kama kal our doctor.
na3ood lil kalam 3la el femto, some people (who don't like Dr ahmad) said that he doesn't anything new, he just put some Bacteria wahia tankasem enkesam thona2e inside the laser device, and the scientists eftakro enna7a zarrat betatfa3el !
femto or vemto ? this is the quistion .
femto is 10^-15 , but WHAT IS VEMTO ?
oh my dear friends, some of you (who visit the kingdom of saudia) know that Vemto is a name of a famous drink ( usually for kids ), this drink is aseer toot , fe 3elab karton (like 3elab el melk elly maktoob 3leha : " Se7etak fe el 3elbah de" but smaller ). and with every drink there is a picture.you may collect these pictures in alboom and write your name and adress , then send it.(you enter a sa7b wa may be you win Nobel prize !!!)
zakro, zakro . we need some one of our faculty to win Nobel prize in wasfea7 or introduce a new concept of Pepsi Second !!

If you like my corner please EM. ME (email me ) Moaz@Handaza.zzn.com
Moaz M. Reyadh
In 26/10/2010 !

EL RA2ABAWY !!!!

By Sameh Samir

El-Ra2abawy mara fel mo7adra shaf banat kanet bet hawy 3alashan kan el-gaw
katamma shewia . ra7 za3a2lohom we aal " bet hawo leah ?! mana ba2lay sa3a
fel rey7a el-hebab beta3etkom deh ". ba3d shewia keda sem3na BOOOM 3ala
el-ard , am el-Ra2bawy baslena we aal " el-kasr el-bench ye2oom ? " mafeesh
7ad rad, am sa2al tany "meen eli kasr el-bench ye2oom? " aam wa7ed alo "
la2a ya doctor de wa7da o3`ma 3aleha bas!" rad el-Ra2abawy " wa7da o3`ma
3aliha ?! , tab sybak menha we rakez ma3aia , we 3amody 3ala el-maskat mar
bel-not eli mostawa......." we kamel 3ady gedan el-shar7 wala ka2ny kan fee
7aga 7`ales.....
 BY SAMEH SAMIR 

Basbasa In 3omara !!

By: yehya Madkour (3omara dep.)

it was my first visit to this site when i decided kol el bashmohandeZeen lazem ye3rafo el 7ekaya de..
it happened that when we where taking a class(lecture)fe 2ola 3omara,the doctor kan taleb menena some mackets to make ..ya3ny ay kalam keda we takweenat fel la ma7dood we talween we beta3..
tab3an el doctor el mo7taram lamm el mackets kolaha (120 macket) we he started to comment on them ..el macket dah 7elw we alwano 7elwa we tashkeelo kowayes bass el sowar we7sha ..keda ya3ny ..till he found a macket shaklo ya3ny kan ..balash 3ashan ma7adesh yez3al ..elmohem 2a3ad yeshtem fel macket
welly 3amalo we ye2ool "eh el loon dah howa elly 3amalo 3amalo be mayet left ?" (besara7a el loon kan bamby fate7 we kan ta3ban khales)..bass "meen ba2a elly 3amel el macket el mo2ref dah?"..she was (wa7da) keda ma3ana(mesh '3afar ya3ny)we heya kanet wa7da bass besara7a..tab3an el doctor lamma 3eref 2al  "ehda heya gat feeky?..bass ana ma2oltesh enno we7esh ..da 7atta fekreto 7elwa bass howa kan 3ayez tanzeem shewaya bass 7elw ..kowayesss ya3ny, we ba3deen malha mayet el left? "....bass ya bashmohandezeen howa dah elly 7asal men el doctor el mo7taram we tab3an fedelne nos sa3a bened7ak ..:)
 By : yehya Madkour (3omara dep.)